So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
NoShamevember. You game?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
