Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
