you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
