After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
