I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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