Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
