You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize