Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So vagazzling was a success
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize