I wanna bring you to show and tell
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
