You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
