He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I believe in your delicious
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
