butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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