It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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