he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
