He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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