I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize