Got a toothbrush?
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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