there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
