I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
