I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
