it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I will be naked everywhere
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
