last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
