so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
