Nicole vs. Life
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
