he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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