This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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