I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
