He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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