I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize