im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
