we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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