yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize