Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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