you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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