just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
