i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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