dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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