pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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