Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We got so high we made milksteak
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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