also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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