Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
