k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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