remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
