please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
