you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
