hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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