forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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