He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
