He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
cat food counts as protein by the way
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
