why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
