Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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