That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
