Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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