it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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