guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
