I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
