dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
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