I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize