Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
