4 words: hood of his car
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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