Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
