I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
