Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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