It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
