So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
