When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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