some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
