i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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