It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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